Tales of an Exclusively Pumping Mom

"Breastmilk is best for babies up to 2 years."

We've all heard this especially after a formula milk commercial. I never really paid attention to this ad, not until I became pregnant and eventually gave birth that I truly appreciated the phrase.

I've always thought that I would breastfeed my child and for me this is simply the best choice. Aside from making sure that my baby gets the best milk, there is also the environment factor. With our culture now where health is becoming people's priority, there is also the expectation that moms should breastfeed their babies. Before giving birth, I read about breastfeeding online and expected to BF my baby upon birth. Little did I know that there are other plans for me.

4 hours after Yui's birth, she was diagnosed with congenital pneumonia and had to be put in the incubator with respirator, pulse oximeter, IV and other tubes that a mother wouldn't even dream of seeing in her child. So there goes dream of rooming in my baby and BF her right after birth. She stayed at the hospital for 7 more days after I was discharged and while she was there I pumped my gut out until I was able to get some milk. My milk came in at around the 4th day after labor, just in time when Yui was able to drink milk already (she didn't have anything for 3 days since they were still monitoring her). While Yui was in the hospital, I was pumping at home and every morning my mom would bring the frozen pumped breastmilk to the hospital so they could give it to Yui. Daddy bunny and I would then go there at night to visit our precious little girl and also to bring in more milk.

When we were finally able to bring Yui home, I was excited. I was excited to finally BF my baby! But then the problem started. We couldn't get a latch and apparently Yui now prefers the bottle after taking it in the hospital. Of course who would let her baby cry her heart out trying to get a latch? I did what I could do that time which is to give her the milk through the bottle. Of course, I was still giving her my pumped milk. So in a way, I was still giving her my milk. We tried to get a direct feeding for the next days until one day she was able to latch. I was so happy!!! Unfortunately, my happiness was cut short as we weren't able to repeat that no matter how I tried. I guess I was bordering on post-partum depression that time since I felt "incompetent". I was just so grateful of the support that daddy bunny, my mom and my mommy friends gave me during that time. I went from being really sad that my efforts are not paying off to accepting the fact that it just wouldn't happen. I guess I wasn't trying hard enough or that subconsciously I knew there was other way.

While all this baby blues were happening, I was still slaving myself with the pump. I really wanted to give Yui the best milk so I pumped. And I pumped. And I pumped. My only worry at the beginning was that my milk will not increase and I wouldn't produce enough milk to sustain her demand. I know that the baby's suckling is the best at emptying the breast and increasing the mommy's milk supply so I was worried. I seeked the help of my friends, Ivy and Mai :) and asked for guidance. They were so helpful and Ivy even lent her Chicco pump and Mai her Medela pump since I'm just a poor girl. LOL! I also seeked the support of other moms in GT. That's where I first heard of the term Exclusively Pumping... (I just realized na ang haba pala ng intro ko hahaha!!!)

I didn't know that what I was doing had a proper term pala and so I googled Exclusively Pumping breastmilk and was surprised with the tons of information I found. Before this, all I could see were articles about breastfeeding and bottle-feeding, where breastfeeding means direct nursing and bottle-feeding means formula feeding. There was no "bottle feeding breastmilk". Apparently, there are moms out there that are the same as me... Those who want to give the best to their children and for the same reasons that I had or simply because they chose to, they opted to exclusively pump (EP)

Some people, especially medical practitioners don't really raise EP'ing as an option to mothers who can't nurse their child. They immediately force formula feeding. Not that I'm against formula (in fact, I was mixed feeding until about 2 weeks ago), but I believe that EP'ing should be the next option to direct BF'ing. After reading articles and other moms' experiences about EP'ing and weighing the pros and cons, I was more convinced that this is my calling.

Of course I know the risks or cons of EP'ing. The first one is increasing the milk supply. There are lots of tips from mommies who successfully EP'ed for their child and I tried all that I can to increase my supply. It is true that I need to work harder at this since I'm relying on the pump and not my baby's suckling. I was drinking malunggay-infested soup everyday. And I mean EVERY SINGLE DAY. I was taking Natalac 2x a day, drinking 2-3 glasses of Anmum Lacta and eating oatmeal just to up the supply. The other important step is to have a strict pumping schedule where you should pump between 2-3 hours (8-10x a day) to simulate the baby's feeding schedule. While I was establishing my supply, we were mixed feeding. Yui took around 4oz of formula a day but majority of her milk is breastmilk (around 80%). As of this writing though, I'm happy to say that she's exclusively drinking breastmilk (since about 2 weeks ago) and that I have approximately 70oz of BM in the freezer. So I guess all that malunggay paid off.

With EP, skeptics say that you lose the bonding between mother and child. To this I disagree. Although unconventional, I can attest that one can still bond with her child even if you're not directly nursing. One added bonus of EP'ing is that the daddy and other caregivers (like the grandma) can also bond with the baby because they too can feed the baby. This setup works for us and I'm happy that daddy bunny is happy because he can share in the feeding experience.

There are other factors that make this setup work or not work for a parent. I'm just sharing my experiences so that whoever has problems with breastfeeding in the future, they would know that there is another option for them. Two months into this, I would say that I didn't regret our choice. It's just a win-win situation for our family. And I'm happy that Yui can still get all the nutrition and antibodies that breastmilk gives, albeit unconventionally.

Yui's 21 photos

some of her first month milestones:

- sleeps almost ALL the time :)
- feeds every hour, on the dot. she's like our living alarm clock
- she can move her head from side to side so we didn't have any problem with "flat head"
- gets startled easily
- was able to sleep for 3-4 hours straight
- likes to sleep in our chest

This album will contain Yui's monthly mugshots taken every 21st of the month starting from month 1 up to forever! LOL! I created this so we can have a side-by-side view of how my little girl is growing up... :)

Yui Elisabeth: A Birth Story

Prologue: Labor Pains and False Alarms

Two weeks before my April 27 due date, I went on maternity leave. The first week I was on leave, I spent it sitting in front of my office laptop frantically finishing my team's performance feedback and practically still "working". It was like racing against time. I had to complete it before the deadline and at the same time before the baby comes out. I was talking to baby Yui and telling her to please come out after mommy's done with the AOs (Assess Outcomes). Being the good girl that she is, I was able to finish the AOs.

Besides that, daddy bunny and I also had another goal: that we can attend our friends' Moe and Jo Anne's wedding on April 18th. The night before the wedding, I was already having contractions but they were very mild and irregular. I attended the wedding having those contractions. I was really sure that I will give birth that weekend so on the way to the wedding, we loaded all the bags that we will bring to the hospital in case we have to rush to the hospital after or even during the ceremony. During the reception, I texted my OB and she informed me that those were just "false alarms". I then spent the rest of the weekend timing my contractions and just "feeling it".

Since I'm just a poor girl, I didn't attend any childbirth classes but instead I just read this free online childbirth class. Of course I was scared and anxious about the whole labor process that I made sure to arm myself with the knowledge and prepared myself mentally and physically. I also read different birth stories from different women in several forums and blogs. Expecting the worse, I was prepared.

Chapter 1: The Long Wait Is Over

Fast forward to Monday, April 20. Daddy bunny decided to just work from home since I was having irregular contractions the entire weekend. I was scheduled for a checkup with my OB on Wednesday but since daddy bunny was home, I texted the OB and asked if we can have the checkup that day instead. I'm really excited and wanted to know if I was dilated already. So off we went to QC and had an IE (internal exam) with the OB. But my cervix was still closed.  Although she said she can feel the baby's head and said that labor can be that night or the next morning.

We went to SM Annex after that and had our lunch there. Since it was our first time to go there, we literally walked the entire mall and checked the stores (talagang gusto ko nang manganak! haha!).

That night I noticed that the contractions are becoming more intense (although they're still tolerable). I was able to sleep but woke up at around 3am since the contractions were of a higher level. I went downstairs and paced the living room for a few minutes, checking if the contractions will subside if I do. But it just kept going. So I went back to bed and timed my contractions. From 3am to 5am I was timing it and the interval was every 10 minutes with 2-minute duration each. I texted my OB around 5am since I don't want to wake her up earlier than that. I was anticipating her reply to say false alarm but instead she told me to go to the hospital so they can perform an IE to see if I was dilated. This is it!

My next dilemma was how to wake up daddy bunny and my mom. Hehe. I calmly woke them up and sabi ni mama ako lang daw ang nakita nyang nagla-labor na pangisi-ngisi lang. hehe! Melvin looked more tense than I am. He went down before me and when I got there he already put his pants on! So sabi ko: "hindi ka ba maliligo?" hehe! I told them that we better take a bath first and have breakfast. I was chillin'. hehe! Good thing that I ate cereals because as it turned out, that would be my last meal.

Chapter 2: It's Show Time!!!

When we got to the hospital, the resident OB performed the IE and I was still half-expecting them to tell me to go home and that I wasn't dilated yet. But lo and behold, I was already 4cm dilated!!! They then lured me into the Labor Room to which I innocently asked: "tuloy-tuloy na ho ba ito?" and the nurse simply said yes. "Uh-oh," I thought. "Hindi man lang ako nakapagpaalam kina daddy bunny and mama and I didn't bring my PSP with me. Pinaghandaan ko pa naman ito, naglagay na ako ng mga games and music!"

So there I was, lying in the Labor Room, alone and without any means of entertainment other than the voices of the interns gingerly chatting on the other side of the curtain. ampfs! It was around 7am when I started my labor in the LR. Then they immediately wired me to the fetal monitor so they could monitor my baby's heartbeat and my contractions. My OB told me that I might deliver the baby around 3pm. And I thought, "wow, that fast?" By 9am, I was 5cm dilated. My OB told me that I could get the epidural (local anesthesia) when I'm between 5-6 cm and that I shouldn't wait for the pain to be intolerable before I get the epi. However, at 5cm the pain wasn't that bad yet. I can still tolerate it and I was just singing through each contraction. The anesthesiologist (Dr. M.) came in and asked if I wanted the epi already but I said I can still tolerate it and that I'll wait a little longer (maybe around 11am). By 10am, I was at 6cm already and my water broke. After that, the contractions got stronger and by 10:30 I couldn't even say that I want the epidural. All I said to the OB was, "Doc, GAME" with a really pained look in my face.

And so, she called Dr. M and they started the procedure. The epidural didn't really took effect immediately so I was grunting during the contractions while Dr. M and my OB were just chatting by my side. I was like, "Doc bakit walang epek?!" Yun pala 30minutes pa mag-take effect! Kaya pala pinipilit nila ako to have it earlier. But good thing na rin that I didn't have it earlier because it helped speed up my labor. By 12noon, I was almost unconscious, I think I was 9cm dilated and all I could remember were little bits of conversation around me, such as:

Dr. M.: "ang ganda ng progress nya no?"
OB: "oo nga eh, at this rate before 2pm siguro tapos na"
Dr. M.: "mataas nga ang tolerance nya sa pain eh"

OB: "o ann, let's practice your pushing"

Since I had the epi, I couldn't feel anything so they had to coach me into properly pushing the baby out. We spent the minutes practicing and by 1pm, my OB told me that we're ready and they wheeled me towards the Delivery Room. IT'S SHOWTIME!!!!

Chapter 3: In the meantime...

While all this hoopla was happening in the LR, my ever reliable posse of daddy bunny and my mama were in the Waiting Room...waiting. Theirs were equally funny and stressful experience. Before me was a lady who delivered a baby and her relatives were also waiting outside. The SIL was talking to mama and they were just sharing stories. Then she pointed to the baby's father pacing in the WR. After awhile, she pointed to daddy bunny, "o tignan nyo po, sya naman ang naglalakad" hahaha! Sorry naman, pang-teleserye ang drama ng asawa ko. haha! In fairness, he said mga 3 times lang syang naglakad-lakad and then he sat na and opened ICHI the laptop. He was also updating our friends and relatives of the happenings through Facebook. Thank the internet gods for Facebook. There's no need for text messages and phone calls. But mama was also updating our other relatives in the province and she was busily texting everyone until her battery ran out. She was caught by the guard charging her phone and said na bawal daw yun. So she went up to our room since we were already checked-in, thinking that she'll just go back to the WR at around 2pm since my OB told them that between 2-3pm pa daw ako matatapos.

Chapter 4: It's A Girl!!!

Contrary to what I usually see in the movies and TV, there were only a few people in the Delivery Room when I was giving birth to Yui. My OB: Dr. Aileen, a resident OB, Dr. M, and a pedia (who's waiting for the baby so he can perform the APGAR test). I was half-awake during the entire process and in times that I'm actually conscious I would look around me and take in all that is happening so that I can remember all of them clearly. I was thinking, "kailangan ko maalala lahat para ma-blog ko ito. LOL!

In front of me was the wall clock so I was like pressured to push and finish it because I can see the clock ticking. By 1:30, they said na malapit na... I pushed and pushed, looked at the clock which says 1:30 and I thought "ayy, tapos na sila mag-lunch break sa office!" hahaha!

The anaesthesia was slowly losing its effect so Dr. M had to put on another dose but before it could take effect, I was able to feel the contractions which was good coz I was able to tell when to push and helped speed up the delivery. I actually felt the baby's head and shoulder come out (but without the pain, of course! ). By 1:41pm, I heard the first "UWAAAAAAAAA" and baby Yui was born.

Epilogue

As it turned out, mama wasn't able to finish charging her phone. She received a call from daddy bunny saying na TAPOS NA. She was surprised and so she immediately ran to meet our precious little baby girl... Yui.

Yui-isms 101

At 6 weeks old, Yui's already starting to show signs of being active and a social butterfly. She recently started to babble a lot, seemingly interested to join every conversation. Although I know these are mere mumbles, some of the "words" she said were really funny.

Here are some of Yui's swak na swak hirits:

"First words": I guess she was around 4 weeks that time. It was evening and daddy bunny was trying to put her to sleep. She was fussy so daddy tried to put the pacifier on her mouth. She started to suck on it and then after a few minutes we just heard her utter: "OINK! OINK!" Homaygash! Instead of mommy or daddy, my baby's first words were sounds of a pig. LOL!

"Brad Pitt": While showing the latest Smart Parenting magazine to Yui, daddy bunny asked, "kilala mo ba si Brad Pitt?" Biglang sagot ni Yui, "indeeee"

"Feeding time": Having drank her milk already but still fidgeting, we were asking her if she still want some more milk. And she replied "hungry!"  Ayun naman pala eh. Okay payn.

Syempre hindi naman talaga yung exact words na yun ang mga sinabi niya but sounds like at swak talaga ang timing ng kanyang pagsagot. I can't wait for more Yui-isms...